Flip Flops

Well this one is going to be pretty random. Just a bunch of different thoughts flip-flopping through my mind.

I did not enjoy my coffee this morning for the first time in years. I'm, admittedly, a coffeeaholic. I don't go for all those expensive, flavored, low-fat, double espresso, latte, whatever types. I'm simply a Maxwell House, kinda girl who likes it black. The reason I didn't enjoy my coffee so much this morning is that I "quit" smoking last night. Yes, I know that it'll be better for my health and my wallet in the long run but, my morning coffee isn't the same without them. I won't be the same without them. My fool-proof M&M diet (Marlboro & Maxwell House) has been shattered and I'm already starting to snack on bad things. I may need to take up jogging.

My husband sometimes drives me batty with his selective hearing. I know he has a bit of hearing loss, mind you I've never actually seen the Dr.'s reports, so I just take his word for it, but there are times I wonder. He can sit in the living room, watching TV with the AC on and hear me talking to the cat, in the kitchen. (Yes, I talk to my cats) So, how does he not hear me talking when I'm sitting right next to him? "You know I have problems hearing." That's his excuse.

Cats in heat. One of the many reasons I want to turn them into slippers. We have 3 female cats and one male cat. We fixed the male and keep all 4 of them inside. No chance of them having kittens so we didn't have the girls spayed. Which is fine except for when they go into heat. It's never at the same time to get it over with all at once, no it's consecutively over a period of weeks. They are so loud and annoying that, like I said, I want to put my foot up their asses and turn them into slippers.
To add insult to injury, Doodles, the oldest female, will go through a false pregnancy on occasion. Then for weeks she'll drive us all crazy. The other cats, by trying to mother them all the time, and us, by being right next to us all the time meowing. You can't leave the room without her following and at bedtime she lays on my pillow washing my face. EW! & OW!

Daddy's Shoulder

The summer after I turned 16 I met a man. He was 19 , well just a few weeks shy of turning 20. At first I didn't like him at all and though he was an ass. Pretty quickly my feelings changed and I thought that I was in love. He was older, had a car, took me places, and made me feel like I was so grown up and beautiful. What my mind didn't really know about relationships, my heart felt like it surely did. I was going out with him for 6 weeks when my parents found out, and they hit the roof. My father forbade me to see him because he was too old for me.

"What does a 20 year old man want with a 16 year old girl?"

"You just don't understand, I Love Him!"

I went behind my parents back and saw him anyway. For a while I got away with it. "I'm going to my friends house". "I have to babysit and I'll be back in the morning" "There's a school dance tonight" One night my sister saw me, at the local parking spot, with him. I was grounded for the summer, to my room. He would stand under my window, talking to me quietly, every day. A few weeks later and I'm back at school. They couldn't stop me now, and we had lunch together every day. They heard about it, didn't like it, but really had no control. Eventually they gave up and let me date him.

Those first months back together, without trying to hide it, were fantastic. We were virtually inseparable. Then he missed a few lunches, or didn't call every day. Out with a friend one night, I saw him, with her. I yelled, I screamed, I threw his Coast Guard ring back at him. I walked all the way home, for miles down a country road, alone in the dark. I was devastated, I wanted to beat her, I wanted to kill him, I wanted to die.

I went to my room and tore up all his letters, threw his things at the walls, screamed, cursed and broke down. There was a knock at the door.

"Chrissy, are you all right, can I come in?"

"I don't care"

"What's the matter? What happened?"

I poured out what was left of my heart, I cried until I couldn't breathe, his shirt was soaked with my tears. He held me, he patted my back, he rocked me, he smoothed my hair.

Not once did he say "I told you so."

Not once did he say "I tried to warn you."

Not once did he say "You should have listened to me."

He said "It will be all right"

He said "Go ahead, cry it all out"

He said "I love you"

He said "Shh, I'm here, Daddy's here"