Being a Mother

My baby boy, who's stunts will give me a coronary one day, is going to be 18 next month and so I've been thinking a lot about the years I've been a mother. My oldest child, a beautiful woman with a "hippie" name, (though I've never been a hippie, I'm much too young) is 22. My oldest son, who thankfully is no longer Goth, has recently turned 21. When adding it all up, I have over 60 combined years of mothering experience. Which, when I'm trying to give advice to young mothers, means a lot. When trying to put it into practical use, like getting my youngest to get his hair cut, has absolutely no meaning what-so-ever. But, I take it all in stride because it's what being a mother is about. I choose my battles knowing; In the end I will have won the war!!

Top 5 reasons I Love being a mother:

1. Babies are the most beautiful of all God's creations! Their wide-eyed expressions, toothless grins, bubbly laughter, sloppy kisses, chubby-armed hugs, wobbly walk, silky hair, sleepless nights, sweet innocence, and saying Mama.

2. Young children are dirt on their face, gum in their hair, rocks in their pockets, running barefoot, playing hide-n-seek, telling stories, collecting bugs, ticklish giggles, tight squeezes, tantrums, good-night kisses, chicken pox, and saying I love you Mommy.

3. Tweens are looks of annoyance, unwanted haircuts, climbing trees, telling fibs, sibling rivalry, corny jokes, watching movies, doing it on their own, hospital trips, homework, arguments, and saying I love you Mom.

4. Teenagers are looks of defiance, wild hairdos, slamming doors, loud music, laughing at you, know-it-all, strange friends, dating, worried nights, parties, high school, cars, piercings & tattoos, independent, and saying I love ya Ma.

5. Young adults are looks of understanding, laughing with you, favorite movies, shared music, unexpected visits, phone calls, childhood memories, appreciation, friendship, sharing, caring, and saying I Love You So Much, You're the Greatest Mother Ever!

I found it too hard to pick just 5 when writing this and since the bad goes along with the good, I thought I'd just break it down into the stages of their lives.

Flip Flops

Well this one is going to be pretty random. Just a bunch of different thoughts flip-flopping through my mind.

I did not enjoy my coffee this morning for the first time in years. I'm, admittedly, a coffeeaholic. I don't go for all those expensive, flavored, low-fat, double espresso, latte, whatever types. I'm simply a Maxwell House, kinda girl who likes it black. The reason I didn't enjoy my coffee so much this morning is that I "quit" smoking last night. Yes, I know that it'll be better for my health and my wallet in the long run but, my morning coffee isn't the same without them. I won't be the same without them. My fool-proof M&M diet (Marlboro & Maxwell House) has been shattered and I'm already starting to snack on bad things. I may need to take up jogging.

My husband sometimes drives me batty with his selective hearing. I know he has a bit of hearing loss, mind you I've never actually seen the Dr.'s reports, so I just take his word for it, but there are times I wonder. He can sit in the living room, watching TV with the AC on and hear me talking to the cat, in the kitchen. (Yes, I talk to my cats) So, how does he not hear me talking when I'm sitting right next to him? "You know I have problems hearing." That's his excuse.

Cats in heat. One of the many reasons I want to turn them into slippers. We have 3 female cats and one male cat. We fixed the male and keep all 4 of them inside. No chance of them having kittens so we didn't have the girls spayed. Which is fine except for when they go into heat. It's never at the same time to get it over with all at once, no it's consecutively over a period of weeks. They are so loud and annoying that, like I said, I want to put my foot up their asses and turn them into slippers.
To add insult to injury, Doodles, the oldest female, will go through a false pregnancy on occasion. Then for weeks she'll drive us all crazy. The other cats, by trying to mother them all the time, and us, by being right next to us all the time meowing. You can't leave the room without her following and at bedtime she lays on my pillow washing my face. EW! & OW!

Daddy's Shoulder

The summer after I turned 16 I met a man. He was 19 , well just a few weeks shy of turning 20. At first I didn't like him at all and though he was an ass. Pretty quickly my feelings changed and I thought that I was in love. He was older, had a car, took me places, and made me feel like I was so grown up and beautiful. What my mind didn't really know about relationships, my heart felt like it surely did. I was going out with him for 6 weeks when my parents found out, and they hit the roof. My father forbade me to see him because he was too old for me.

"What does a 20 year old man want with a 16 year old girl?"

"You just don't understand, I Love Him!"

I went behind my parents back and saw him anyway. For a while I got away with it. "I'm going to my friends house". "I have to babysit and I'll be back in the morning" "There's a school dance tonight" One night my sister saw me, at the local parking spot, with him. I was grounded for the summer, to my room. He would stand under my window, talking to me quietly, every day. A few weeks later and I'm back at school. They couldn't stop me now, and we had lunch together every day. They heard about it, didn't like it, but really had no control. Eventually they gave up and let me date him.

Those first months back together, without trying to hide it, were fantastic. We were virtually inseparable. Then he missed a few lunches, or didn't call every day. Out with a friend one night, I saw him, with her. I yelled, I screamed, I threw his Coast Guard ring back at him. I walked all the way home, for miles down a country road, alone in the dark. I was devastated, I wanted to beat her, I wanted to kill him, I wanted to die.

I went to my room and tore up all his letters, threw his things at the walls, screamed, cursed and broke down. There was a knock at the door.

"Chrissy, are you all right, can I come in?"

"I don't care"

"What's the matter? What happened?"

I poured out what was left of my heart, I cried until I couldn't breathe, his shirt was soaked with my tears. He held me, he patted my back, he rocked me, he smoothed my hair.

Not once did he say "I told you so."

Not once did he say "I tried to warn you."

Not once did he say "You should have listened to me."

He said "It will be all right"

He said "Go ahead, cry it all out"

He said "I love you"

He said "Shh, I'm here, Daddy's here"

A Grandchild's Magic

For nearly 40 years I've always considered myself the lucky one. That I had been the one blessed to have had such amazing people in my life. While telling a friend about my grandparents she told me about her grandchildren and their magic. "The magic of children discovering the world and the wonderful things in it. The magic of the honesty that kids operate with." That made me wonder if my grandparents may have felt the same way about my sisters and I. I believe that they did. They were always patient and understanding with us and seemed to take such joy in the little things that made us happy. I just hope I can be half the grandparent that Nanny and Poppy were.

When I was seven years old my parents separated. My two older sisters and I lived with my mother for a while. We stayed at her boyfriend's apartment but, I didn't really like it there. Then one day my father came for a visit and told my mother he was taking us out to eat. We never lived with my mother again. The three of us girls chose it to be that way when my father asked who we wanted to live with. He didn't have a place of his own, so, my father took us to his parents house. For quite some time my grandparents and my aunt took care of us while my father worked and "found us a new mother".
My grandparents, Nanny & Poppy, were amazing people. Nanny would walk us to and from school every day and pick us up for lunch. We never ate in the cafeteria. Instead, she would have soup and sandwiches waiting on the table for us. She would keep us occupied with crafts and fun things to do. Poppy taught us how to ride a two-wheeler and would always tell us silly jokes. On the few occasions my mother came to visit we would sit in Poppy's car, with him always in the front. This is because Nanny was afraid that my mother would take us back. Even though they were both getting on in years, in their late 60's, Nanny and Poppy would have done everything in their power to protect us girls.
For many, many years I have looked back fondly on those months spent with my grandparents. They passed away when my children were young and before my youngest was even born. Through the years I taught them all the things that Nanny and Poppy taught me. All three of them can doodle some pretty cute birds and they fold a mean newspaper hat. I've told them all the stories and shared all the wonderful memories I have of my grandparents. Their legacy will forever live on.

They're moving

So today Jennifer and David left for Florida. I'm sure gonna miss that little boy. His mother, not so much. She's been a thorn in my Dad's side for too long and I'm happy that his stress will be greatly lessened by her moving away. I know he'll miss David quite a lot and he'll be a bit lonely in the morning without David there to share breakfast with. I do fear that she'll be back before the year is out and that Dad will let her move back in. Nothing I can do about it, except to hope it doesn't happen. She has been abusive and mooched off of him for far too long. It's about time she grows up and takes responsibility for her and her son. Now, if only I could get rid of her sister and especially her mother, all would be right with the world again. Unfortunately, the world doesn't revolve around me and what I want.
They are not the only ones moving to Florida this year. Lisa is moving also, in August, so the rumor has it. That news didn't upset nor excite me, but I am looking forward to having a closer relationship with our granddaughter now. Too much BS between "he said, she said" and lying to cover up instead of telling the truth for far too long. I'm hoping that with less influence, there will be less BS stories told. Though I doubt it because, after all, Niki is her mother's daughter and so like her in many ways. I guess only time will tell.

Did you bang your head?

Yup, I literally did. SMACK! Right into the door frame. Hurt like a bitch too. Still does.

Anyway, that happens to be one of my husbands favorite questions to ask. "Did you bang your head?" It usually comes right after being asked a stupid question or having someone tell him about something stupid (in his opinion) they've done. I don't imagine he'll say it when I tell him I've joined this blog site. That is, if I tell him at all. Probably not, because there are time I need to vent and I doubt I'd want him to know. I doubt I'll tell any friends or family either for the same reason. Can't bitch about their stupidity if they're going to read it later. This way their feelings won't get hurt and I'll get it off my chest. I know from experience, it's not good to keep things bottled up. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that they don't stumble upon it some day.
Not all of my posts will be about the stupid things they do. I imagine there will be posts about my own stupidity too. Hopefully, most will be about good things or interesting thoughts, observations and ideas that come to mind. I get those on occasion and want a place to put them before I forget. This is as good a place as any I guess and it doesn't waste paper and won't get lost amongst my clutter. I know this isn't the greatest first post, but what the hell, at least it's a start. BTW they really need to get some new fonts on here, these are kinda boring.